I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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