Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
