I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
