She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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