if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
high people should be assigned attendants
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
How naked do you want me to be?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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