I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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