I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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