i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
