hotel room ftw
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize