fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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