D3 body, D1 cock
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
