Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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