Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
