hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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