Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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