): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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