it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
