i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize