his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
