are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
