Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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