my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
