Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
