i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
