someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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