I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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