even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
