And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
