There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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