She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize