I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
