so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
