took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
