You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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