Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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