last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
