By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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