Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize