Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize