just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize