covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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