Your mouth is God's brothel.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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