break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
