I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
