Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
