And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
