69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
