I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I looked at my own cervix.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
