If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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