Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I came so hard my ears popped.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
