everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Two words: blizzard sex
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
