being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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