Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
