people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
