did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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