if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
